Self-belief is a funny thing… It seems you either have it, or you don’t. And when you don’t it can make achieving your goals seem almost impossible. Learning to believe in yourself again (because let’s be honest, when you were a kid you thought you could do anything) takes some stepping out of your comfort zone.
Once you figure out what’s stopping you, you can change your life and it start believing in yourself again. As a starting point, take a look at these three common self-esteem killers. Any one of these cankeep you from living out your true potential.
Do you compare yourself to others?
Does it seem to you that everyone around you has their life together? This is a common feeling, especially if you spend a lot of time on social media. Maybe you have a friend on Facebook who always seems to have a clean house. But you don’t see what her house looks like when the kids have the flu and there hasn’t been time to do any laundry.
When you’re on social media, you’re constantly exposed to the best side of someone’s life. You rarely see the ugly parts, too. It’s important to remember this when you’re scrolling through your news feed. There’s a quote that sums this up perfectly…
Do you carry baggage from the past?
We all carry baggage from the past to some extent. Our memories often shape us and affect us far more than we realize. Negative situations in your past can make it hard for you to believe in yourself. Maybe you were in a toxic relationship with a partner who verbally abused you. Maybe you grew up with an alcoholic parent or maybe you were bullied in middle school.
Your past can be the biggest threat to your present if you don’t take action. It can take a toll on your self-esteem and crush your sense of confidence. If you’ve been in a bad situation in the past, you’ll need to re-train your thought process. You may need the help of a therapist or life coach to help you deal with painful situations from your past that are keeping you stuck.
Do your current relationships drain your self-esteem?
Are there current relationships with a dynamic that keeps you questioning yourself? Sometimes, other people can undermine your sense of self-esteem. They may do it subtly by making unkind remarks and dismissing these remarks as jokes. They may discourage you from taking action a project you were really excited about. They may tell you that you’re not good enough to reach your goals.
Few things are more painful than a friend or family member that is unkind and unsupportive. If possible, try to have a conversation with this person about their behavior. In a healthy relationship, there’s room on both sides for honesty.
But if your family member or friend still won’t be supportive, you should consider limiting how often you interact with them. If you do have to be around this person for some reason, try to have a nurturing activity planned for yourself later after your interaction.
Just like you can switch your iPod to a different song, you can change your thoughts about yourself from negative to positive. It takes a lot of work and it doesn’t happen immediately. But as you begin to eliminate obstacles and focus on your positive qualities, you’ll experience a boost in your self-esteem and find it easier to believe in yourself.
NOTE: This is Part 2 of a 5-part series on believing in yourself and building self-confidence.
Part 1 – Believing In Yourself – The First Step To Building More Confidence
Part 2 – Believing in Yourself – What Stops You? (You are here)
Part 3 – Believing in Yourself – How Does Your Outer World Affect Your Self-Esteem?
Part 4 – Believing In Yourself – How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk
Part 5 – Believing In Yourself – Creating a Future You Can Believe In