Sometimes I think we don’t like ourselves very much. At least that’s the way it sounds when you hear people having conversations where they are telling others things like “I’m so stupid” or “I’m such an idiot”. I even catch myself doing it sometimes, especially when I’ve done something that really was pretty silly. (My son calls those my “Ruthieisms”, but that’s a story for another day.)
The thing is, even though we usually do like ourselves just fine, we don’t always think about what we say and how it will affect not only our moods, but how other people perceive us too. The more times you tell yourself you’re stupid or an idiot or fat or ugly or any of those negative thoughts that put you down, the easier it becomes for your subconscious mind to believe them. When that happens, no matter what your conscious mind thinks, it’s the negative image you present to the rest of the world. And that can have a devastating effect on your health and your wealth, as well as your self-image.
The good news is, you can change your thoughts about yourself by changing the way you talk to yourself. Because it stands to reason that if negative self-talk has a negative effect on your subconscious, then talking to yourself in a positive way will have a positive effect.
How Do I Practice Positive Self-Talk?
Positive self-talk, or talking like you like yourself, is something that might take a little practice if you’re not used to it.
The first thing to do is pay attention to how you do talk to yourself. Watch what you say and how you say it, whether it’s out loud or just a thought to yourself. How many times a day do you catch yourself saying things that you would find really hurtful if someone else said them to you?
As soon as you notice a negative thought, immediately replace it with something positive. Find something good in the situation where you would normally beat yourself up, and give yourself some well-deserved praise instead. Even in the most negative of situations, there’s usually at least one glimmer of light that you can latch onto to feed your positive self.
This works even when you’re not focusing on yourself. If you can find a positive thought in any situation, even if it takes a little work or a little imagination in the beginning, you will soon start to see only the positive aspects of any challenge you find yourself dealing with.
The trick, if it can be called a trick, is to make sure you are watching yourself and practicing talking like you like yourself every single day. Even when you’re doing daily tasks like washing the dishes or walking the dog, make sure you take a second or two to say something positive to yourself.
If you find yourself in a situation that’s stressful or filled with negativity, take a second to look for its positive aspects. Once you find that something good may come out of it, then you can look more objectively at the situation and give yourself the positive pep talk you need to get through it.
Using affirmations can also help you to improve your positive self-talk. Consistently reaffirming to yourself that you are indeed intelligent, beautiful, powerful and positive is a great way to boost your self-confidence and banish those negative thought patterns for good.
When you master the art of talking to yourself like you like yourself you will feel happier, be less stressed, have more energy, and present a more confident image to the rest of the world.
This is Part 4 of a 5-part series on creating positive self-talk.
Part 1 – Four Tips for Creating Positive Self-Talk
Part 2 – Creating Positive Self-Talk as a Tool for Motivation
Part 3 – How to Use Positive Self-Talk to Teach Yourself New Things
Part 4 – Talk Like You Like Yourself: Reflections on Positive Self-Talk and Self-Confidence (You are here)
Part 5 – Using Positive Self-Talk to Achieve Your Goals